Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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