Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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