It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
