you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's never too late to be topless.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
