I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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