you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
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I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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