wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
farters have to be the big spoon...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
