the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
