Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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