Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
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you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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