I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
