I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
