DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
