So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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