we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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