He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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