Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
