I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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