You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
