I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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