READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my shit smells like andre
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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