Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just wanna be euthanized