Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"