Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...