I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave