idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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