I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
