you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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