so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You did what with his pubic hair?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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