Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
