i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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