There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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