His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize