Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize