and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
