then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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