have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
