i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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