There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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