If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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