he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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