I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
