I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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