the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
