She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
