You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
