I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
