WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
