we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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