omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
