So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You can't special order awesome
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
