When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
