Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
