You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
