And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there is glitter all over my balls
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