I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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