Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Blood and glitter go together right?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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