Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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