just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
