I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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